Surprise, I am back.  My email inbox and my reading have been so amazing this month,  I had to share a few of those things with you, not just because it’s very important, which they are,  but I can’t stand all this buzzing in my mind saying you need to get this out now.   

Thank you for your responses from last time. I appreciate the feedback.  Many of you keep only the articles that apply to you, which is great.  A couple have dropped out of the group because of loss or aren’t using the information.  I totally understand.   I’m here to serve and know that not every article affects each of you personally.  I’m glad to help as this has become the major part of my ministry.  I will be happy when I finish my grief course as that takes most of my time.  It has been a fantastic experience.  

This fall has been the most inspiring in my ministry.  I met a woman outside the hospital who seemed upset so I asked if she was okay.  She had just prayed asking God for a sign on what to do with her elderly mother who had just fallen and was on a ventilator.  I met with the family and prayed with them.  We both attended the same church, Grace United Methodist Church, but in different cities in the area. I was on my way to visit a friend, who had strokes and was on a ventilator.  I visited a few days there and was asked to offer prayers when the family decided to take the person off the ventilator.  I find God putting me in places where I am needed, just like you are now in your caring for your loved one.  We must include God, and then trust Him to guide us through these difficult times. 

When I was caring for my parents back in the 90s I once asked the chaplain at the nursing home, what God was waiting for to take them home.  I told him that my parents were suffering and he asked me, “Who is really suffering, your parents or you?  I believe there is a purpose for them to stay alive, so that is why we go through these difficult times.  I believe God is expecting something else from them or you.  Some call it the long good-bye. If they can communicate ask them what their dreams or desires are.  Listen to them, and perhaps you can help them through this transition.  Also, ask them what they want from you, or to see you do.  This is especially good when dealing with parents.  Put it in God’s hands and let your loved one know that you will be okay, and it’s okay for them to go home to be with others who have gone before them.  Tell them why you are thankful for them.  This will give you just as much comfort as your loved one. All of the articles below have come to my attention since the last newsletter, and I felt the need to share with you.

A. From AgingCare  on planning for the future and safety now.  “KEEP SENIORS SAFE”

B. Books are valuable resources: I recently attended a lecture by a traveling author from Georgia who stopped in Moorhead to share her story on making sure your loved one gets the care they need by listening to the spouse or a loved one.  This has become one of the best books for caregivers. Sitting in the Chair is written by Melanie Rae.  I have attached a few pages.  I wish I could have shared more. She travels the United States telling their story.  If you have the chance to hear her, I strongly suggest you do.  Otherwise, check out the book; it’s a very powerful read.  

C. From AgingCare on caregiver help. “HELPING vs. ENABLING: How to Strike a Balance While Caregiving”

D. From INFORUM on “Caregiver asks if it’s wise for parents to change Medicare plans”

E.  Don’t Forget, It’s Medicare Open Enrolment Medicare. (October 15-December)  A neighbor, who’s an insurance agent, mentioned that many corporate insurance companies are struggling financially because of rising medical costs and drug prices. After digging a bit deeper, I discovered that the government started reducing Medicare funds in 2024 that used to help lower some of these costs. My neighbor suggested you reach out to a local insurance professional you trust to explore what might be best for you. It might be a different plan, but you can still find affordable options. Wishing you all the best!

F.  Educating with “The Grief You Haven’t Finished Naming” I took this class earlier this summer and found it very helpful. I strongly suggest you download the zoom app if you want to take notes.  I didn’t and couldn’t keep up with the notes and slides.  They are saved on zoom. Click on the image below to learn how you can participate in this live event.

Hello Del,

There is a particular way grief settles in when life keeps moving and there is no space to stop.

It does not always look the way people expect. It is not always loud or obvious or present in ways that are easy to name. For some of you, it has been years since the loss, and you have quietly wondered whether you should feel more resolved by now. For others, grief is less of a constant weight and more of something that surfaces at ordinary moments, then gets pushed back down. And for some of you, the loss is more recent, and you are not yet sure whether anything could make a real difference, or whether this is even the right time.

I would like to offer you an hour.

In that hour, I am going to help you name what you have actually been carrying, understand the pattern it has been running in your life, and do something that most grief resources do not teach you: put your grief on the calendar. Give it a dedicated, bounded place in your week. Not to fix it. Grief cannot be fixed and it does not have a deadline. But when grief has a proper place, it stops seeping into all the other places. That is worth something.

You will leave with language for your loss that fits your actual experience, and a real sense of what the next step could be.

This is live. To get the most from it, please plan to join in person.

Take good care,

Jennifer

G. A video I shared at the National Caregiver Conference in Washington, DC, in June of 2026.

NUGGET: Caregiving Can Kill You—Please prioritize your own well-being. If you’re feeling burned out or constantly ill, please let your doctor know. This means communicating openly with your doctor.

CAREGIVING CAN KILL YOU

• 64 million adults, or 1-4 Americans are caregivers, they have a 63% higher risk of dying over a 40 year period than non-caregivers.
• 1 in 5 dementia caregivers die before the dementia sufferer.
• Only 20% of caregivers actually get training, contributing to mental overload, suicidal ideation, and depression.
• Caregivers provide 40+ hours of work per week, in most cases, in addition to a full time job. Creating chronic illness, poor sleep, little to no recovery, burnout, and compassion fatigue.
• Most caregivers report overall dissatisfaction with their lives: this mentality alone is known to shorten lives.

I hope you will find something helpful. I welcome your feedback, whether it’s positive or negative. You can reach me at the email address below.

Del Larson,

Certified Lay Minister

Email: larsondel@gmail.com

Please forgive unedited mistakes.