Caregiving For All: Del Larson, Certified Lay Minister
May 28, 2026
Hi Friends,
A: I started out naming this #70 as before the odd number of newsletters was at the beginning of the month and the even numbers were at the end. So I thought it should be 70, but I couldn’t find #69. Oh, well. Thank you for your patience and understanding for switching to one newsletter each month. Actually, I can offer more choices since I don’t have the attachment links from AgingCare.com. I can guarantee you that I have continued to be busy with my quest to become a grief coach. I received a nice letter from the Director of the Theology Department at Concordia College in Moorhead, inviting me to join them this fall in their graduate studies. Yecks! I did start an online class to be a Grief Coach this month, similar to what I did to be a Caregiving Coach. I spend three hours every other day on the material. It didn’t take long before I began to wonder if I was getting in over my head. I have a hard time giving up, so I’m pushing on. I have included a part of a lesson from the first module. It’s interesting, but lots of details. I am excited by what I am learning. I’m hoping that this study will push me back under 70 years old.
LINK: Grief Study Module 1. I’m sharing what I have learned in the first Module.
B. Agingcare links: It has been interesting in my email box from caregiver websites. I get a daily email from AgingCare with four topics to review. Other websites share usually once a week. AgingCare has two options with emails: 1. Information from an expert; 2. Open forum where other caregivers respond to the original question. I have more files saved from AgingCare than all the other websites combined. Again, I can’t share those articles as links, but I think the ones below might help some of you, but you will have to paste and copy. It is more difficult for me as I have to go to the website to make sure I have the right title rather than copy and share the article. I just realized as I was proofing that parts of my links below disappeared. Remember you will need to go to AgingCare.com to find them, or first try clicking on the blue link I typed in, or at the end of the sentence you will see an upside-down arrow. Click on that. Some will open. Others need to be copied and pasted. Just because that is harder, don’t give up. There might be one that is helpful.
LINKS from agingcare.com:
- How to prepare my husband with Alzheimer’s for respite which might become permanent. AgingCare.com
2. How Caring for a Spouse Can Strengthen Your Bond —AgingCare.com?
3. Q: Tug of War in heart and mind. What do you think?
FROM DEL: I believe strongly in Heart and Mind decisions when caring for a loved one. My older brothers were much more heart decisions because of their distance away from our parents. Delaying the transferring of my dad to be with Mom was a head decision for me. The doctor did not wanting her to fly to Michigan for graduation was a heart decision me, so I let her fly with my son.
4. Six choices of links, —AgingCare.com
5. Can Medicaid Take a Senior’s House to Pay Their Nursing Home Bill? —AgingCare.com
6. When Power of attorney disagreements threaten family unity— AgingCare.com
7. What if the POA uses the mother’s bank account as a slush fund—Agingcare.com
From Del: For the last two links you will have to go to agingcare.com , paste these topics in the search area one at a time. There will be many others on the same topic you may find helpful.
EXAMPLE: I recently dealt with an 86-year-old neighbor who was having trouble with the sibling who was their power of attorney. Their child threatened the other siblings if they didn’t do what the POA wanted; they would get anything from the inheritance. The parent went to a lawyer, which is always the best choice, to do. They then chose a good friend outside of the family to now be the new POA. You should also have a second person as POA in the document if something happens to the first chosen. Never do a POA, Healthcare Directive, or any legal papers online. It might be cheaper, but will it be legal. Even if you get them notarized, too many of these end up in court. I did a codicil for my will years ago online trying to save some money. The notary that notarized it said that they have noticed problems with codicil papers. Although, the notary said they are only signing that they witnessed the people signing the document and checking their IDs.
LINKS from other websites: You will have to copy and paste the next two links.
Manage Stress-Stay Sharp. AARP.org (Multiple options on managing stress when you seek this website).
YouTube: Conversations With Your Aging Parents You Keep Avoiding
MEDICAL TIP: This came from a news tip. If you already are taking an 80mg baby aspirin daily, as ordered by a doctor you understand well. Always have your baby aspirins available at a lower safe level. If you ever have pain shooting down your arm, especially the left side, or have tightness in your jaw, and especially your chest, take 3-6 baby aspirin and call 911. This may help prevent clots in the , and allow blood to flow better. Especially be nothing, but don’t wait until you drop on the floor and are unable to call. If you aren’t sure about taking baby aspirin, check with your doctor first before you start this addition. Ask the doctor about taking more baby aspirin if you have concerns you might be having a heart attack. You might want to carry some in the car.
BOOK Suggestion: Some of the books suggested to me, you might find helpful. I’m not going to make you write a full book report like I did with students when I was teaching. These books were suggested by others dealing with grief and caring for a loved one that I have interviewed for my research. The Well-Lived Life written by Gladys McGarey, MD. No, I’m not pulling a joke, I won’t do that with this group. She was 103 years old when she wrote it. It’s a doctor’s Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age. It is a delightful, easy read. The focus is on how to keep moving. Your body needs to move to help each organ, muscle, and tissue to be able to move, or work and function properly. Chapter nine, that I just finished, is about laughing and how important it is to your system-muscle. Laugh rather than get angry, or ashamed. Summary: Learn to live well, so that you will be well while you live. I wish Luann could have read that chapter. She always told me I laugh and joke too much.
Today’s Nugget:
June 2, 2026
Dear Friends, including past members, I know I said once a month with sending newsletters, but those of you who know me know that I’m a great storyteller. As my wife, Luann, would ask, “Are you telling the truth?” I would always say yes, but somehow she could look me in my eyes and tell if I was fibbing or straight shooting. Sometimes I’ll share how this truth or dare all started. I’m only sending beause I need information.
Anyway, as I said previously, I am going to Washington, DC to a national Caregiver Conference sponsored by Lutheran Social Services. I was asked to go and thought that I would be listening more than talking. Last Friday, I met with the local director from LSS to discuss the trip and she told me that I will be asked to share my story of helping caregivers. One conversation will be with actual representatives and senators at the Capitol. The other is during the meetings.
I started to prepare for this trip last night (Sunday night 8:00) after returning home from a wet day at the lake, to write this. Not much work got done at the lake. However, I got to play with my great-grandson who will turn 1 shortly. If you remember, for the past year I have struggled with weakness and pain in my left arm and shoulder. I chose not to do more surgery since there was only a 50 percent chance of any further correction. I visited a chiropractor who used a nerve agitator that has taken all the pain away. This weekend I was able to hold my great-grandson and bounce him around until he started turning other colors. Then I handed him back to his dad, not my granddaughter the mother. He has a lot to learn, so I was teaching him a quiet lesson. Like I said, I can be a ball of laughs.
Last evening, after working on my grief class, I called to check on one of our group members who has been really struggling in the care of their parent. This person repeated back to me, “I know! If you don’t take care of yourself first, who will care for your loved one when you can’t? I don’t know how to do that!” They are allowing me to share their story of caregiving, regarding not having enough information from doctors, hospitals, counselors, Medicaid, etc. My main focus at the conference with our representatives has to be on “at-home care for the elderly.” If you have anything you want to share with the struggles you are having, or have had, with any caregiving aspect and are willing to share, I need them by the end of this week. That way I’ll have the weekend to put the comments into my notes to share. I hope that I get an hour to talk. Get me started and I’ll talk forever. Opps! I shouldn’t have said that. There are a couple of relatives that will probably respond to that. It’s OK to just respond to me only. YOU DON’T HAVE to share with everyone in our group. We have a big family reunion coming up later this month. Please understand, that I will use no names as you saw above in my reference from the call I made last night.
I just finished my first module on Grief Care Coaching. The program says I’ll spend 60 hours covering the 7 modules. I spent 15 hours on this first module. When I make a mistake, I tell people I am Norwegian and ask for forgiveness. Works every time. It makes people laugh and be understanding.
Thank you for your time. I ask that you let me know if you would like the links from the University of Minnesota Dementia Conference held last Saturday on a beautiful summer day that I could have been at the lakes. It didn’t disappoint me as I learned so much. The classes are:
- Coping Skills with Dementia using Improv. Great examples of how to stay in their reality and not get frustrated.
- Optimizing Care and Restoring Calm. Shows the finding peace and restoring calm to your relationship.
- Understanding Assistive Technology. Wonderful programs to help you in caregiving for your loved one. What’s available for free and what you can buy.
- Open discussion with experts. Q& A
Let me know if you are interested, and I will send them when they come.
Thank you, as always, for your time and interest. Please, if I’m not helping, or you no longer need help, feel free to drop out. The director from LSS asked who will take over for me when I can’t do it anymore. It won’t be my kids. I totally understand. Others have moved on before.
I give thanks to God, for His guidance. I love how He plays with me. In September, after Luann’s funeral, I asked if it was time for me to give this role up and find what else He wants me to do. A month later, we had five new members. This winter, when I was struggling with grief and in pain from my arm, He guided me to learning more about grief by going back to school. Now, I’m going to a national conference. God is amazing and I’m thankful for the opportunities and guidance. I do have to remind him I’m 75 and need some help occasionally, and I’m waiting for a time to go fishing. OH, that’s another wild story.
Have a great day
Your’s in Christ
Del
I welcome your feedback, whether it’s positive or negative. You can reach me at the email address below.
I hope you find something helpful.
Del Larson,
Certified Lay Minister
Email: larsondel@gmail.com
Please forgive any unedited mistakes.