Caregiving For All:  March 21, 2023, Del Larson, Certified Lay Minister 

If you are experiencing difficulties with memory, know that they may not be signs of dementia. It could be memory loss as a part of normal aging.

Please note that the information on this page should not be used as a diagnostic tool, and is not a substitute for informed medical advice. If you are concerned that you or someone you know has dementia, please talk to your doctor.

What is aging?

Aging is a natural process for us. We will experience gradual changes to our brains and bodies. Some affect our physical and mental abilities and may increase our risk of disease. Each of us ages differently.  The changes vary from person to person.  According to the World Health Organization (WHO), each person should have the ability to live a long and healthy life.

What affects how I age?

Besides genetic factors, how we age depends on our lifestyles and environments. Generally, we can support healthy aging by challenging our brains, eating healthily, and being physically and socially active, among other lifestyle choices. While these choices do not guarantee a long, healthy life free of disease, they are our best options for decreasing the risk of disease and ensuring our well-being as we age.

Will my memory get worse as I age?    As we grow older, it is natural to feel concerned about changes in our mental abilities. We want to carry out our daily routines, be self-sufficient and relive the most treasured moments of our lives without having to worry about our memory and dementia.

Most of us will experience no problems with memory.  Most of us will continue to have strong memories as we age. Our ability to remember will not decline rapidly or substantively. In old age, we will retain the skills and knowledge learned throughout our lives.

Some of us will experience memory loss.  Almost 40% of us will experience some form of memory loss after we turn 65 years old. But even if we experience memory loss, chances are still unlikely that we have dementia. For the most part, our memory loss is mild enough that we can still live our day-to-day lives without interruption.

A smaller percentage of us will have dementia.  The WHO estimates that after we turn 60 years old, 5 to 8% of us will live with dementia at some point. With dementia, symptoms including memory loss gradually worsen to the point where our abilities seriously deteriorate and we are no longer able to take care of ourselves. There are different levels of memory loss and not all memory loss is due to dementia. So how can you tell which is which?

I appreciate hearing from you.  Positive or negative. My email is attached, or you can call the church and they will give you my number.

Feel free to respond, ask questions, or tell me what you think.

I hope that you can find one thing that will be helpful to you.  Email: larsondel@gmail.com

Caregiving For All:  March 1, 2023, Del Larson, Certified Lay Minister

Sweat the small stuff

° Give yourself credit for what you do.

You probably hear often what an angel, or loving soul you are for taking care of a loved one. We politely say thank you.  Yes, you are all of those and more.  You make God smile and others wonder how you do it all.  Do not let these comments slide by without including a very important wish.  I wish that I had the strength of an angel, and could feel my soul at peace.  I realize that is not possible because God only gives you enough strength for that moment.  So let go of your worries, and your soul is at peace.   That is tough to do.  We lack the faith to trust God will get us through each day’s new situations.  We go to sleep at night believing we have done our best and we give thanks.   Now it is time to find joy and happiness in your life.

 

° Include joy and happiness in your life.

Being a caregiver is the most difficult job I have ever done in my life.   I like to laugh and make others laugh.  My poor wife thinks I laugh too often, although I hear her trying to cover up a snicker a few times each day.  I’m not sure that I would survive this role without using humor.  Yes, I get frustrated often, but I don’t like the feeling of being down, and not under control.  When we feel the pressure and start to melt down, we make mistakes.  We say things we wish we hadn’t.  When you give up, and doubts start to creep in, you are at the end of your rope.  Find joy and laughter.  Watch a funny movie; have coffee (or beer for me) with some friends; and do something you enjoy that brings satisfaction.  Lastly, journal about your experiences.  Buy a notebook, and try to write in it every two days.  You will find that it gives you a release from your frustrations when you write down what is happening.  You can see patterns about both you and your patient that could be helpful in their care.  If you continue to struggle, seek help.  Your care receiver needs you, and so do others in your life.  You are the sunshine on a cloudy day.  For me joking and laughing make a difference.

 

Here are some of the best traits that every caregiver should have:

• Patience: Those who provide home care to others need to be patient.  When I feel I’m starting to lose it, and I’m about to say something I shouldn’t, I zip my mouth shut, smile, and thank God. This is a great release for me.  Sometimes my wife sees me do this and smiles.  She understands.
• Compassion: When someone has compassion for another they have an understanding of what the person is going through.  Be a person of compassion.  Have a heart that opens for others.  Practice compassion with all.  Let them see what compassion looks like so they understand how to share when the time arises.
• Attentiveness:  It is easy to get distracted in the business of a caregiver.  Try to be tuned in not only to the person receiving your care but also yourself.  You have to protect yourself just as much as you do your loved one.  DO NOT feel guilty if your patient criticizes you. Listen and acknowledge their concerns, then evaluate what you need to do.
• Dependability:  Your plate is overfilled.  You don’t use a plate, but rather the whole table.  There is so much for you to do.  Ask for help.  Be organized, but ask for help.  Be a manager, not the whole team.
• Trustworthiness: This is important because you are dealing with a vulnerable person.  You need the support of the whole caring team.  Journaling is very helpful.

What is the golden rule in caregiving?  Any ideas?

I appreciate hearing from you.  Positive or negative. My email is attached, or you can call the church and they will give you my number.

Feel free to respond, ask questions, or tell me what you think.

I hope that you can find one thing that will be helpful to you.  Email: larsondel@gmail.com