Author: Dan Graning

Caregiving For All:  January 26, 2023, Del Larson, Certified Lay Minister

Lots going on in my caregiver journey.  Besides my wife and her needs, my lay ministry role has taken me on a few visits in the past couple of weeks. Every situation is different, as is for each of you.  How your care receiver reacts to you, or their care, can be a major source of frustration.  How we handle those moments is very important not only for the patient but for ourselves.  I believe my biggest frustrations come from agencies that I must deal with as a caregiver.  Issues range from losing personal items at the nursing home to communications with staff and support agencies.  It seems keeping me updated and informed is not a high priority anymore. Their response is “We are short-handed and it is difficult to find new people.” I understand.  The world is a different place compared to pre-Covid.  My opinion, and from what I have heard, is that many younger workers generally do not have the same work ethic that we grew up with years ago.  I do not like to be forceful, because generally, everyone does better when we stay positive.  However, there are times when we need to go to higher levels to get things done.  I first recommend that you seek the highest power available by praying for guidance.  Let that be your guide.  Jesus was angry a few times and even threw a few tables.  Share your concerns, but always end with a way of reconciliation.  If people fear you and are always on the defensive, there will be more problems because of fear.  I try to thank the staff as often as I remember.  Show that appreciation. I buy big bags of miniature candy and share some with staff in the different places that have caregivers, including medical facilities. Some days you may need immediate help from them.  Please do not think that I am a cool cat that lets everything roll over me like water.  I have my moments. Once, I took my granddaughter (and her mother) to the ER for the third time in less than 24 hours.  She was a very sick toddler.  When they did not see her immediately, I became very angry that they kept sending her home.  I was escorted to patient services by security to file a complaint. By the time I finished, she was in an ER room.  As I sat there waiting for tests to come back, I got thinking about what had happened, and it made me very sad.  I walked out to the triage desk and asked to speak with the charge nurse.  The 5’6″ 120-pound nurse came out in the hall and I apologized, but she let into me and knocked me down from 6’0″ to about 13″.  I deserved all of it.  That is when I decided it is better to build people up and be thankful even before I am cared for or served. I started my candy treats then.  I am sorry this got a little long, but I hope you find value in my mistake that helps you avoid the same situation.  God is working on me to be humble.

My post entitled Helpful Resources is filled with links that focus on the caregivers’ well-being. If you have any certain issues, you need help with, please let me know.  Remember, I am not a professionally certified caregiving authority.  My certification comes from God.

Lastly, I have hesitated to share information on dying and death.  Each person handles it differently.  If you would like information on this please let me know and I will share it with you.  I learned it the hard way at the time of death back in the late 90s.

I appreciate hearing from you.  Positive or negative. My email is attached, or you can call the church and they will give you my number.

Feel free to respond, ask questions, or tell me what you think.

I hope that you can find one thing that will be helpful to you.  Email: larsondel@gmail.com

Caregiving For All: June 19, 2023, Del Larson, Certified Lay Minister

There are many resources out there for caregivers. I am trying to keep you as informed as I possibly can. It would take me a century to share it all. I doubt I have that much time, but knowing God, anything is possible. I will continue to share insights from my research, personal experiences, classes and online groups, and information I receive from other resources. I find my searching has helped me to find answers, not just about diseases, but for me personally on how to take care of myself, so that I can care for others. Some of these may be a repeat, but that is good for those of us who need reviews. We have a half dozen new readers since I started this blog in November 2022. Listed below are but a few sources that I have found extremely useful that contain useful information.

* The AARP magazine has an article on caregiving in each edition.

* Teepa Snow, a dementia care specialist, and the Positive Approach to Care (PAC) Team share about dementia so that everyone can understand why changes are happening and how you can support those living with brain change more positively and respectfully.

* Elaine K Sanchez, author, speaker, and founder of an organization called CaregiverHelp has been an outstanding resource for me on my caretaking journey. Based on her extensive experience of caring for family elders, Elaine K Sanchez developed a passion for helping others manage the emotional stress of caregiving. Below is a talk that Sanchez gave entitled “Finding Hope, Humor, and Heart in Caregiving.” I found it particularly helpful when dealing with the everyday stresses of caregiving. I believe that for me, my humor helps me to be a better caregiver. The more I can make my wife or others laugh, the less stress I feel. I am not going to tell you I do not face stress and sadness, but I am happy with my progress with joy and laughter.

* DailyCaring website. It contains several articles with a lot of excellent caregiver information. One article I found very helpful in dealing with the everyday stresses of caregiving was this one “5 Ways to Reduce and Manage Caregiver Resentment.”

* Today’s Caregiver website. This site also contains a wealth of information to aid you in your caregiving journey. One I found most helpful was this one on “Emotional Fatigue.” It listed the signs of fatigue and tips on how to deal with it. This came at a good time for me, as I too am struggling. For me, my goal is to avoid depression, frustration, or anxiety for less than a day. Yes, I talk a lot to myself, and I do answer as well.

I appreciate hearing from you. Positive or negative. My email is attached, or you can call the church and they will give you, my number. Feel free to respond, ask questions, or tell me what you think. I hope that you can find one thing that will be helpful to you. Email: larsondel@gmail.com

Caregiving For All:  June 15, 2023, Del Larson, Certified Lay Minister

Wow!  It has been two weeks since the University of Minnesota Caregiver Conference.   I wanted to share this with you, but my notes are long.  Instead, if you send me a request, (address below) I will forward a link so you can view conference highlights.

The opening session, AVOIDING POWER STRUGGLES by Deb Nygaard was, in my opinion the best session for me.  It hit the nail on the head with information on how to deal with dementia patients as the disease progresses.

The second session, THE CAREGIVING PRINCIPLE, presented by Carol Amos. The caregiving principle: “Needs of the Loved One minus Needs filled by the Loved One equals Needs to be filled by the Caregiver.”  It was helpful for me as she clarified the symptoms of caregiver Stress, and how to better take care of ourselves.  For caregivers, their health is a slow decline but increases as time and stress increase.  Most do not realize how much their workload increases until it is too late.  Caregiving can last over 20 years.  Most do not recognize the toll on the body until they realize they are struggling mentally or physically.

The third session, RESILIENT TOGETHER presented by Jeremy Holloway, Ph.D., talked about Cross-Cultural Communications.  Its focus was on better help for all care patients no matter what their cultural background is.

The Last session WORKING TOGETHER WITH RESIDENTIAL CARE CENTER STAFF presented by Amy House, a director of a nursing facility.  In this session Amy offered helpful information on working with nursing home staff and the facilities. Since returning from the conference, I was able to use the information more than once when helping my 96-year-old friend move into a memory care facility.

I have heard that a few of you are experiencing serious life issues.  If there is anything I can do, please feel free to contact me.  Reach out to family and friends. Be honest and tell them you need their support.   You do not have to do this alone.  For me, God is my strength.  I know I am never walking alone. God puts others in our lives to help.  I will keep all of you in my prayers.

I appreciate hearing from you.  Positive or negative. My email is attached, or you can call the church and they will give you my number.

Feel free to respond, ask questions, or tell me what you think.

I hope that you can find one thing that will be helpful to you.  Email: larsondel@gmail.com