Caregiving For All: Del Larson, Certified Lay Minister
Remember open enrollment for Medicare insurance is now open, and don’t forget your flu and covid shots. Please don’t think once you have had the shot that you are covered for life. Covid has been very active in my area this summer, including a larger number of seniors. Thank God they only had mild cases because their shots were up to date.
From Del: It’s time to sit down and have another chat. I think about you daily as I get new emails from my resources and start working on the next Caregiver for All message. It has been hectic this past month. I want to say thank you for the responses after my last email where I shared my struggles and frustrations. One obvious thing is that Caregiving is always an adventure, with way more struggles than we thought we could handle. Fortunately, we have God keeping us upright and surviving if we let Him. I share what I am experiencing, not to be recognized, as each of us has our situations that affect us deeply. I’m far from perfect and never will be, but we are doing our best. It seems like sometimes it isn’t enough, and we wonder what we are doing. I will tell you that without my faith, I don’t believe I could have survived dealing with my parents in the 90s and now with my wife. You may agree that at times it seems we are living in the TV show “Days of Our Lives.”
For the last two weeks, I have been living one of those episodes. Luann injured her foot when she caught it on the carpet while rolling down the hall in her truck (electric wheelchair). I’m thinking about getting her a VW Bug. Staff checked her numerous times, but didn’t believe it was broken. After five days of swelling, I tried to contact her in-house doctor and her old primary (according to Medicare you can’t have both doctors). My training told me you can’t say for sure it’s not broken unless you do an X-ray. Just because you can move a joint and use it, doesn’t mean it’s not damaged. I finally took her in and it was broken, so now she is wearing a boot. Luann was also struggling with a new medicine after her hospital stay and rehab. She has problems with diarrhea nearly every time she changes to new meds. I finally stopped the new med and her problems cleared in two days. Luann calls me Doctor Del.
Yes, I did discuss this with staff and doctors. I’m firm but fair. I want it to be a learning experience rather than a battle and people on edge and afraid to act. Those of you who may have worked with me, know I once was like a “bull in a china shop” when things needed to get done. However, with age and God’s wisdom, I have tried to share grace and forgiveness. I believe that with God’s guidance, we can always find better ways to solve problems, rather than based on our own will and anger. Remember, we will get angry, but how do you want to deal with it? I’m still a long way from who I want to be, but if I’m not honest with you, you won’t want my help anymore. We will have moments of failure, but they are just one small moment in a day. It doesn’t have to ruin our whole day. It’s the same when caring for our loved ones. We Will Make Mistakes as Caregivers. Most of what we do is absolute love. A mistake or a moment of frustration, or even anger, is just one moment in a day. How about all the rest of the moments in our day? Don’t let the bad moments take you down. When you feel down and frustrated have a plan to find your way back to who you want to be. Recently, I shared on FB my frustration, which allowed me to share my feelings. When I do that, I’m usually trying to use it as a teaching moment, so that others can learn from my mistakes. The response was so wonderful and reassuring. Isn’t that what friends should do? Let it out! Don’t hold it in! Your friends want to know about you, but don’t know how to ask! In my loneliness research, which I have shared with you, don’t wait for friends to reach out to you. Reach out to old and new friends asking for coffee, or a visit. Whatever works for you but do something. No one can carry this burden alone. Thank you for what you do. God also thanks you!!!
Please forgive my editing mistakes.
From Del:
The first link is similar to something I sent this summer. It’s from a different source. The second and third are suggestions for you and your friends. As I said above, and research shows, you may need to share your feelings, so people understand. Stop saying I’m doing OK, and let people know you are struggling.
Links to other articles you may find helpful:
I appreciate hearing from you. Positive or negative. My email is attached, or you can call the church and they will give you my number.
Feel free to respond, ask questions, or tell me what you think.
I hope that you can find one thing that will be helpful to you. Email: larsondel@gmail.com